Summary, back home

Hi guys. It's me again and this time in English. I decided to write in English because I wanna get back to the language and talking is not a real option at this moment. So, I'm back home. Actually already since February. And now I decided to write something about being back in Germany, having my old life back and my year abroad.

Lets start in the beginning: January 2017. That's when my year as an Au-pair started. I actually remember the day we left my house and I was so excited and nervous, but in a positive way. The moment we went into the plane, the flight, the academy in New York city, everything was so exciting. And then the day came: arriving at my new home, Portland (with the biggest snowstorm ever). The first days have been awkward. Everyone was new and there were so many impressions, it was overwhelming! I guess that's one of the reasons why I was homesick. There were times where I actually wanted to pack my stuff and just take the next flight back home. And right now I'm sitting here, at home, regretting that I didn't stayed for another six month. But that's a whole different story. With time my homesickness got away and I started to really enjoy my time and my new life over there. It really was the best year of my life even if I had issues in the beginning. I just was so lucky to meet so many amazing people and to live in the best hostfamily I could ask for! They supported me with every decision and helped me in every situation. I was part of a family who included me like I was a member from the beginning on. They took me with them on vacations, invited me for birthday party's and holidays and every single time we where together it felt like home. I found a second family on the other side of the world and that is just the best thing!

Now, that I'm back home, I really miss all of them so much. Because of all the free-time I'm having right now, I regret my decision not extending my year for a little longer. But by the time the agency asked me if I would like to extend I still had about three months left and I thought the time would be enough. Sadly, it really wasn't. So to everyone who is thinking about this right now, make sure you're making the right decision and talk to some friends or your hostfamily! But there is a happy message too: I just booked my flights to visit my hostfamily this summer. I can't wait to see all of them again, spend time with my kiddos and to see my friends again.

Not that you guys get me wrong, it's also awesome to be back in Germany. I finally have my family and all my friends back. We can finally hang out again and do all the stuff we've done before. I really missed them a lot, I haven't seen some of my friends for almost one and a half years. It's really great spending time with them again. We try to do something at least once a week but some of my friends already moved out to a different city so it's hard to to find a day where everyone's free. Besides that, everyone is studying so nearly no one has time to hang out during the day. I decided to start studying in October and that's the reason why I have a lot of time now. But I'm not just hanging out at home all day, I go babysitting almost everyday, I work at an ice-cream place some weekends and I have to get my applications for college ready. Actually, there is so much I have to do. I also have to figure out my current situation of living, do I wanna move out or do I wanna stay at home? Should I get a car or not? Do I wanna live alone or with someone? What should I study? Is it the right decision to study? There are so many question I have to find an answer to and that should happen pretty soon because time flies. It's already mid-may and I still didn't really figured out most of them.

So, being home is awesome but also really stressful. You're kinda going back to real life where you have to figure out so many things that you haven't thought of since you left. It's tough! But I guess every Au-pair should be aware of the fact that time at home didn't stopped while they're gone. Everyone is also living their lives and everything and everyone, especially you, changed in so many ways. It's not the same when you return home. At least that's what I experienced in the last months I'm back. You kinda have your old life back but not all of it!